Alaska

As I finished professional school, I spent a considerable amount of time trying to get placed in the bush of Alaska doing what would amount to near peace corps work.

After returning to my hometown to marry and finish school, my wife and I were well aware that we were getting ready to plant ourselves deep into this community that we've always called home. We were scared. Of the 25 years lived, only 12 had been spent outside of these city limits, most during my early childhood. My wife had only spent 7, total. What would we miss? Would I turn 65 having spent 81.5% of my existence inside one county?

So I sat with my board results in hand. I felt safe. I felt sad. My whole life was sitting before me, mapped and planned. So I choose the road most traveled.

Divorcing Gifts

It is so difficult, as Americans, to divorce the gift. Now I mention Americans, because of my perception of the American dream. The dream, that if you work hard enough and apply yourself, you will lift yourself from out of whatever perceived or real level of poverty you may be born. Everyone else is just lazy or content to live in squalor. So everything that one has achieved or accumulated is due to their efforts and bestowing a portion of that earned property requires responsibility by the receiver to use it in manner that is befitting of the giver.

We need to divorce the gift. Do not let the right hand know what the left hand is doing. As the saying goes "never watch a sold stock." Whether it rises or falls has no bearing on your initial decision to sell. When helping another person, the act of compassion, of valuing a human over possessions is the point, not the outcome of the act. I have always wondered if Christ's disappointment with the rich young ruler's decision to not sell all he had to give to the poor, was his realization that he valued his possessions over people.

If people are more important than money, than why do we worry about how they will spend it. You cannot get it back and their single act of disregard, should not shape our opinion for the remainder of God's children. I need to be better at divorcing my gifts. And to quit worrying.

Before the SBC found its way

James McClendon, in his second book on systematic theology, Doctrine, discusses the initial reason the Southern Baptist Convention steered clear of the World Council of Churches.

The courteous letter of regret is worth reading in full; I quote only one sentence: "The thousands of churches to which our Convention looks for support of its missionary, benevolent and educational program, cherish their independence and would disapprove of any attempted exercise of ecclesiastical authority over them [such as the proposed membership implied]"

I had to read that three times. Is this statement, from the SBC, actually embracing ecclesiastical diversity? Good thing that was corrected.

God's plan for your life.

You need to find it out. This is vital information for the growing Christian. You see, God has developed this master plan for your life and part of your mandate by Christ is to follow this plan. Discovering this plan is paramount. It is what identifies you as a true dedicated Christian. If God does not feel you are following his plan, he may provide an obstacle to wake you up or an opportunity to lead you back into his gracious agenda for your life. If you follow the correct path and are doing his will, he will open many doors and amazing blessings will enter into your life. True joy and happiness await, as long as you live the plan God has provided you. The reason so many live in despair and are depressed is that they are not following God's will for their life. The greater number of events that independently corroborate your idea of God's plan for your life, the more confident that you can feel that you are on the right track. If you are in ministry, it is even more important to understand God's plan because it is how you are able to minister to greater numbers of people and increase your tithe to God's church. God's overall plan is for you to save as many people from hell as possible. Incorporating His overall plan into your normal hypocritical sinful life is why you go to church and your wife stays home to raise the kids.

Laying on hands

Last night we ordained four new deacons. Included in the service is a laying on of hands and prayer by all deacons and those in the congregation who wish to participate. I have often been cynical of emotionally charged, manipulative services, so much so that I tend to write off any emotional content as such. But last night, the simple, quiet gesture of individually touching and praying over another, left me with the inability to even whisper my prayer. I pushed back tears, as I witnessed a small community lay hands on those who would desire to be set apart. (just the fact that I admit to pushing back tears during any worship service is big). And today, I still feel renewed.

Gifts from God

With contraception, fertility drugs, in vitro fertilization and a myriad of other technical and social advances, we have moved away from the thought of children as a gift from God. Gifts are not planned or contrived. Gifts are not demanded, nor should they be expected. With respect to those who struggle with infertility, we have made children so very convenient.

As I was driving to work, I listened to Dr. Laura and (I think) Dr. Dobbs discussing the appropriate role of women in society. Like monkeys mating at the zoo, I know I shouldn't watch, but I just could not turn my attention away. In a nutshell, God ordained that women should raise their children, despite careers or education and men should make their money. That's what the Bible says.

God gives children to the world. He gives them so that they can love him and learn to continue to love him. It is not your child. You have no rights to that child. They are all God's children. My child is as much yours, in the end, as is it is mine (that is assuming you have one). For a temporary time, God allows us to feed, love and care for this child, but they will mature and decide how they want to approach God. Our job is not to brainwash our children. God desires love, freely expressed love. Removing them from public school, restricting their education and outlook and suppressing the quest for their own truth, is only temporary. Let them do it while you are there to help. Do not worry if you do it wrong, for they are not yours anyway, God will make sure they have ample opportunity to become his.

Dobbs and company have made a business built on fear. Fear that if you parent improperly, then surely your boy is destined to read Harry Potter, listen to Led Zeppelin or develop a wonderful sense of fashion. God is removed from the equation. It is all you and you better not screw it up. Life is messy (as the Friar is known to say). You are not in control. Depend on God and enjoy the gift he as given you. Just realize it is a gift, not to you, but to the world.

More people

So who cares about numbers. So much comparison and competition among churches is making me ill. Why would one care that their church is growing? What does an increase in bodies actually mean? Why do we count as an increase, the obligatory "transfer of letter"? Hasn't this person always been part of the Church, just not that current church? I have a few thoughts, be they cynical in part.

More people, more tithes, bigger salary.
More people, bigger egos, bigger pride.
More people, bigger church, better denominational stature.
More people, smaller mic, bigger head.
More people, convenient mob mentality, less thought.
More people, more programs, less community.

My girl

My daughter is leaving tomorrow for church camp. It is a "mini" camp for only two nights. When my wife began to fill out the application it asked if the child (8-9 years old) was a Christian and whether she was a member of a church. How do you answer that? I believe she is a Christian, but she has not been baptized or "walked the isle".
This evening my wife discussed camp. Will they try to "save" her? Will they pressure her to be baptized. We had marked that she was member and a Christian, hoping that she would be spared any sort of hot box technique. But we were still concerned. My wife volunteered me to have a talk with her.
As I walked into her room, I felt the feeling my parents must have felt, when confronted with a difficult discussion. I had thought and rehearsed my questions and answers, I just prayed she'd follow the script.
"Honey, you know your going to church camp."
"Yup"
"What do you think that means?"
"I don't know, I've never been. What does it mean?"
"Well, they may ask you some questions about Jesus. Like.... Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?"
"But daddy, Jesus has always been in my heart."
I smiled. (that's my girl!)
"You just tell them that."
So much for my script.

New look

Well, I am in transition with a new look. My old template did not have links and with my lack of knowledge pertaining to HTML, I just switched templates. I now can reciprocate links to those who so graciously point to my blog. I hope to post I bit more frequently.

Pacifism

I've thought about pacifism. After spending four days getting to know a pacifist, I've really considered it. Personally, my outward immediate tendency is towards pacifism. I've been in one pseudo-fight in 5th grade. My temper is generally easy to control. I can do this. I cannot think of the last time I wanted to strike someone.

Control. Biblical pacifism is about the giving away control. Camel's eyes and turned cheeks are about human control. God does not need our power. However we create the power, God does not need it. God is all we need. (Now that does sound trite)

So if the extension of pacifism is submission, I am out. Outward pacifism is equivalent to Pharisitical fasting. Respectful submission is what separates out the chaff. Now we are talking about difficult discipleship. I can resist violence (much like I can resist adultery) but submission requires concentrated work (much like lustful thoughts).

Cruise Control

I used to commute to the "city". Often, as I drove home down I-40, my consciousness would fall. Down it would drift, while billions of bits of information would be absorbed, processed and appropriate directives given. Driving between the lines, avoiding others and passing exits all occurred with no memory. When my consciousness would finally be raised, by some external source that required it or merely acknowledged it, my thoughts would wander back over the moments that had passed. Where am I now? How long had I driven? How much longer till my next exit? Searching, I would accumulate enough clues to place me back into reality. Comfort settled in and I would check my cruise control.

Early on I immediately began to work on developing my cruise control. When one first learns to drive, every sense is working full throttle to interrupt all the data streaming in at 65 miles/hour. Everything has meaning; cars, road, wind, lines, temperature, birds, curbs, sunlight. Years of practice and repetition soon dull those things that have meaning until all one needs is cruise control and the consciousness can now fall.

I was born into church, baptized as an infant (in Christ) and assured of my forgone seat in heaven. As I traveled, my consciousness could now fall. Unaware of what I passed, approached or left behind, I worked on making the shortest distance between two points. It was comfortable. It was cruise control. So when I arrive and Jesus walks up to my car and asks, "How was you trip?" "I made it in 73 years 5 months and 12 days!" Patiently, he asks again, "No, how was your trip?" I would blankly think and no memory will come. My consciousness had never been stirred.

God please raise my consciousness, so that I may stop and help someone fix a flat, so that I will take an off ramp or two and get lost trying to find my way back (there is always a way back), so that when I show up and your Son asks, "How was your trip?" I can reply, "Man, you'll never believe what happened to me on the way here!"

Conspiracy

I am a Mennonite. I am in as much as my name is one of those 369 surnames that go back 337 years, identified as Mennonites. The lack of congregations forced my parents to naturally move to the most common parallel, baptists. I was brought up Baptist, but I am now baptist.

Upon hearing that her grandson was in Canton, OK on a mission trip to transform a home into and Indian Baptist Church, she surprised me with an hour long trip to visit and bring homemade cookies for faspa (a break meal while you work usually at 10:30 and 3:00). The group left me to tour the cheese factory, and after a tour of the new church, I drove my grandparents back to Watonga, allowing us to visit. We discussed the delay of harvest due the rain, my grandfather's health and how she intended on bringing schnetje (a pastry type biscuit), but the cafe had ran out that morning. "So all I brought was some homemade cookies", she stated flatly.

Earlier, conversations with the Friar and other sponsors had centered around pacifism and the role of the Church and the government. I had mentioned that my grandfather was a Mennonite pastor and my father's parents were Mennonites. They are Mennonite Brethren, which are of the most liberal of sects of Mennonites. Order of service and church discipline are similar to Southern Baptist, but pacifism and true separation of Church and State, as pointed out by the Friar, expose a contrasting framework. We discussed that we may want to travel to my grandparent's church for a service. So, while driving down the two lane highway, almost ripe wheat shuttling us towards Watonga, I asked if we could come out sometime for a service.

Thinking that we were curious about the Amish nature of discipleship that some sects still hold to, she suggested another congregation, "where they still wear hats". I responded that the sermon is what we want to hear, we wanted to hear about pacifism and how a community embraces it. Grandma's voice sharpened. A thought out specific voice used to speak about cohabitation or methamphetamine. "We don't hear that anymore. We still say we believe it, but we don't hear it anymore. They are so worried that the church will die and the young people will leave, that we don't hear it anymore. All those who died before in the name of peace and we don't hear it anymore. We have a praise team now. It takes so much money to run the church. Your grandfather paid his own way, he was an electrician. Now they just sit and worry about the numbers. They save people but there is no umphh. What good does it do to save people if they don't bring about the Kingdom? They let recruiters into our private high school. Why would they do that, we are pacifists?" She paused, not because she could not go on, but she realized how long she had gone. Silence. It would be rude to withdrawn my request, but a worship team was not what we had in mind. "You are surely welcome at our church, but I don't think you will hear what you want." Her tone had changed to a low, tired voice, one laced with sadness. I changed the subject, moving on to her cookies and the family gathering we are having in July. As I got out at the cheese factory, I asked her to check and see if any of my grandfather's sermons remained at the church. She smiled, trying hold back a bit, "Yes, I will. I will."

I have begun to believe that the Contemporary Christian Culture Conspiracy actually exists. How else can an isolated community, with its own church, destroy their very piece of identity, all for the sake of numbers. They did not bring it about on their own, the price paid by those who came before is too great, there has to be a conspiracy.

WWJD

From my warped sense of humor that draws me to Landover Baptist Church, here is WWJD.

AA

As I sat next to "Shrek" and across from my daughter, eating a hamburger at the Salvation Army, a clean cut, well dressed man sits down across from me. I recognize him as an old high school classmate. A friend. Albeit, a second level friend (not an acquaintance, maybe a buddy). I assume he is volunteering also. "I've finally hit rock bottom." He then began to vaguely relate his story with little detail. I left with my stomach upset. Was he living at the Salvation Army? Did he need a job? Money? As I left that night I shook his hand and urged him to call me if he needed anything. I then did something I swore I never would or could do, I told him about a small group of recovering alcoholics at my church. It wasn't a straight invitation, but the biggest one I have ever given. I doubt I will see him, he's Catholic and had been to confession and was already hooked up with an AA group and sponsor. What makes us so good at self-destruction?

Phases

I've often discussed with my Friar my new found interest in Spirituality. What concerns me is that I have been known for my phases. I spent the greater part of one semester programming in BASIC, a program to calculate Beyer's speed ratings for the races at Remington Park. The first three years of my marriage I was engaged with the pursuit of brewing beer. I spent six years reading all that I could on first stocks, then options and finally bonds and closed-end funds. I spent six months on a subject called behavioral finance (a mix of sociology, psychology and finance). So I ask my friend, is this just another phase? Once I spend a couple of years immersed in the intricacies of theology and spirituality, will I move to yet another subject?

Worship

I don't need to be entertained. I don't enjoy being emotionally manipulated. I don't like guilt. I don't like to wave my hands or speak out in a crowd. I don't like holding hands.

I don't know if I have ever felt the Holy Ghost in a service.

Inspiration. (Which may be the Holy Ghost?) I hope for inspiration.

Evangelism 101

Robert Webber, in his book Ancient-Future Faith, outlines the steps of evangelism in the early church. The Seeker, where a person was presented to the church for initial instruction on the demands on Christian faith. Next, the Hearer, a period of time that lasted three years, of instruction and orthodoxy followed. Thirdly, the Kneeler, was a time of six and half weeks, coinciding with Lent, that led to baptism on Easter Sunday. Lastly, the Faithful was one who now was a full member of the community to bring about the Kingdom.

He than makes an interesting suggestion. Starting at Pentecost and ending with Advent, challenge the church to bring about seekers. Use the Advent, Christmas and Epiphany seasons to teach the hearer. Lent would prepare the kneeler for their upcoming baptism on Easter.

"Once people have been through the yearly cycle, they can progress once again, but on a deeper level. While a seeker may be introduced to Christianity 101, the second year teaching can be developed that is Christianity 102, and so on. In this model everyone is taking a similar journey, but within different levels of knowledge and intensity."

How powerful could Easter become, if the entire church could personally identify with the resurrection of Jesus as the beginning of their own journey?

Hypocrisy

I think hypocrisy may be the most difficult sin to recognize. I skipped the Good Friday service. It was Friday, I worked all day, I was tired. All I wanted to do was eat, have a drink and rest. Besides, I had read my bible last night, visited a friend who was down, provided some of my service free of charge, went to my bible study, hugged my wife, played with my kids, all in one week. My hypocrisy stems from my conversations. Those conversations where I discuss others and how where they are, is where I once was, but not where I am now. Self recognition of hypocrisy is near impossible. That is why the community of the Church is all important, accountability is the key. Maybe the lesson of hypocrisy is humbleness. God knows I sure could use a boat load of that.

Sign, Signs everywhere are signs

The modernization of the church is painful. Religion itself is loaded with tradition. Handed down from generation to generation, the way we practice religion may be steeped with tradition more than any other institution. I don't know if at one point someone was pissed because a pastor installed their first microphone (God intended for the Word to be spoken in its natural state, not all hopped up electronically) or if there were protests to addition of cushions on pews (people could become sleepy and comfortable and therefore miss altogether the Holy Spirit working on their heart during the 20 minute alter call!). So the fine line we dance upon is the addition of the new so as to preserve the old. I really am not a fan of marquees on churches. My church has one. I rarely decide to attend because of the clever title to the sermon, my mind is made up long before I arrive. But my mind may be changed after reading the testimonials for the daystar.

"Since the sign was installed, our attendance has increased an average of 22%.... and our finances have increased 19%...enough to pay for the present sign and buy two more."

I guess the goal of all churches to increase membership and revenue can more easily be realized by this flashing and classy sign.

Long time gone

Well it's been a long time gone from the blog. Spring Break, March Madness you name it, I have the excuse. Hopefully, life will easy back into that normal mode and I can work the blog.